Work has been super boring the past couple of days. So instead of actually doing work (lame) I have been perfecting my ability to appear to be doing work, when really, I’m doing a number of mildly more interesting things.
1. Going to the bathroom to text. The bathroom in on a different floor than my office, so I like to power walk and hold a stack of papers when I go to the bathroom to text, that way it looks like I’m going to make a photo copy or send of fax or whatever else I could do with a stack of blank papers.
2. Googling stuff. I try to keep it to work appropriate items, just incase my boss decides to stalk my internet usage. My favourite game is starting at a Wikipedia article and clicking through articles linked in it to see how off topic I can get. Also I like to google pictures of animals swimming.
3. Eavesdropping on hott-Aaron’s personal phone calls. The office eye candy occupies the cubicle right next to my desk, and he makes a lot of personal phone calls. It’s impossible to not listen in. As soon as I hear him dialing, I open a document on my computer so I can stare blankly whilst still looking productive.
4. I also like stealing office supplies, colouring with highlighters and re-arranging the crap on my desk.
I’m a really valuable employee.