I found some of my high school yearbooks under my bed today and they offered the perfect distraction from the things on my Saturday to-do list. Whenever I look at those yearbooks, I think about how different my life is now. My location has changed, my hair has changed, my wardrobe is completely different (thankfully) and I’ve changed. My personality, my sense of humour, my interests and my pet peeves have all been altered to some degree in the past few years.
But then I started think about the more recent changes, high school was only 3 years ago, but that is still plenty of time for change. But, it has really been this past year where the real change happened. I feel like I finally outgrew myself. I made some amazing friends and lost some not-so-amazing friends. I experienced more new things in the last year and a half than I think I did through all four years of high school. I’m still negative and moody, I still procrastinate like nobodies business and I still cry too much. But those are traits that I think I’ll carry with me forever, whether or not I want to. The change that has really happened has had more to do with how I feel about myself. I’m still shy and not super confident, but those traits don’t hold me back as much. I know who I am now, and I like who I am, which has always been a problem for me. I was constantly trying to change my self, to force myself to act more happy and more outgoing, and now, I’ve finally learned to love myself, just the way I am.
The weirdest changes that have happened this year are the people that have come and gone. People that I was sure would be important parts of my life, just aren’t anymore. And people that I wouldn’t have expected to stick around, have. Most of these changes are for the better, but they’re still weird.
This post is a little too self-insulgent for my taste, but I can’t help myself when I’m trying to avoid doing other things.